So I have been kind of preoccupied lately with the fact that I feel my parenting has gotten very lazy. I can see it in Jackson's behavior and I don't like it at all!!!
Here is the background for what tipped the scale yesterday:
Luis and Jake stayed home from church yesterday because Luis has been sick. I took Jax because he was reciting the Article of Faith in Primary (He only whispered the first 4 words of #8 and then mouthed the rest... it was cute). Well, I am in the primary presidency, so I am very busy during primary. Thankfully yesterday I wasn't doing sharing time so I could deal with the situation at hand! Jackson was kicked out of class 3 times because of his behavior. At one point he was hitting the other kids, and throwing himself on the ground and kicking and yelling, even when I went in to be with him. It was awful and I ended up leaving church early because he couldn't be in class and he couldnt be with me in Senior primary. Jackson's behavior has been on my mind a lot lately, and this solidified the fact that SOMETHING has to change... for Jackson's sake! I can't even imagine sending him to school with him behaving like this. He would be in the principal's office non-stop!
So, here is the parenting makeover I am about to go through:
Jackson needs structure. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants to. He doesn't really have a concept of behaving a certain way in certain times. So, we are going to start a very strict schedule to include 1/2 hour of scripture time and 1/2 hour of school time. I have already been doing school time with him, but not very consistently with work and all I've been gone. Even school time will be structured. Jackson will know that there is an order to things and before we can move on to one thing, we must complete the others. School time will go as follows, Story/Flashcards/Activity/Writing Letters/Watching Letters DVD. I am hoping that this will prepare him for school and being told what to do with by a teacher. I want to buy a posterboard and write our schedule on the board and keep it in his room so we can refer to it whenever he gets fussy about doing something!
Silvia just bought us the scripture books with pictures from every chapter... you know the ones that were made in the 70s but are still around??? She bought BofM, New and Old Testament and D&C. I am so excited because this is exactly what I need to make scripture time better for Jax. We already read scriptures, but he only lasts long enough to look at the pictures in the triple combination. (Which he loves now, he even knows what happens in each picture. The other day I skipped the picture of Bethlehem on accident and he pointed back and said "baby Jesus" :) So I am excited to get him more involved with the actual scripture stories.
Also, we have not been having family home evening. I have been really upset by this because I really want Jackson to have a strong foundation in the gospel. He knows a few gospel principles, but not as much as other children his age. So, this week I am going to start FHE. It probably won't be on Monday nights, I think Sundays will work best for us, but I am really excited to teach Jackson these lessons. I get emails from LDS Living.com and they email FHE ideas. I will use that, as well as lessons from the internet.
I also have realized that we yell at the boys too much. I just hate it! We have been very stressed lately and I try really hard not to take it out on the boys and I usually succeed... but not always. I am going to try harder with that. I did an experiment the other day. I tried to go all day without yelling at the boys and I was so amazed at the results! It sounds bad that I had to consciously try not to yell, but I did. Jackson totally responded to the change! He was much better behaved that day! That just proves that I need to be more patient and controlled. I am really looking forward to seeing a change in his behavior after I implement these changes within myself.
The bottom line is that Heavenly Father allowed Jackson and Jacob to come to our family, trusting that we would teach them the things they need to know so that they can live with Him again. Sometimes I forget that and get distracted by other things. I am so thankful for my boys and I know they deserve the best Mom that I can be. If it takes sacrificing some "me-time" or whatever, I can do that.
As you can see, I am very motivated to step it up in the parenting department! I will keep you guys updated with any changes I see in Jackson. If you have any tips on what has worked with your kids, or what has worked for families you know, I am all open to hearing ideas. I am kind of clueless here and I am just doing my best to improve! Help is appreciated whether you are an experienced mom or not!
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4 comments:
Cara your a great mom! Keep it up. All those changes sound great! My sister-in-law has 3 boys ages 3,4 and 6. She does a reward chart on the wall with stickers so they can see what they get for good behavior. idk if that would help!
You're a good mom - a bad mom wouldn't have noticed themselves getting lazy, so good for you!! As far as yelling at them goes... I will yell at them for you! LOL!! Kidding- Try not to yell, I grew up getting yelled at ALL the time and it really sucked (unless you want your kids to turn out like crazy auntie izzy.....). I'm sure the structure will resolve everything. I'm a total supernanny addict and it seems to work for her! Just make sure your schedule has glitter glue. Or who'd want to look at it? LOL!
This sounds great!! Stick to your plan! It's so easy to get side tracked!! A schedule is a must! I've found that the boys are better behaved in school because the schedule is the same every day and they know what to expect. I try to do that at home too, but it's difficult because every day is different for us with therapy's and what not. Keep up the great work!! I'm really interested in the hooked on phonics program. We used to do the 'Your Baby Can Read' DVD's and we still do, but Jonas gets bored with them and he's forgotten how to read most of the words. I've seen hooked on phonics book programs in their scholastic book orders and I've so wanted to get them, but they are expensive. *SIGH*
I heard on NPR that "Your Baby Can Read" program is not only ineffective, but can delay them with their reading and speaking.
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